NEW BEGINNINGS

 

For every ending there’s a new beginning and so the same applies to divorce, it is a representation of the end of a legal and emotional bond between a husband and a wife, this process allows both to go their separate ways symbolizing new beginnings. However hard it is, we have to soldier on and start afresh. I love butterflies because they symbolize transformation, rebirth, hope and the soul's journey which is a representation of personal growth, spiritual awakening and the power to emerge stronger after challenges. I’m an overcomer I have survived depression, betrayal and disappointment, most of my days I survived because I always viewed myself as a butterfly. And on some days I viewed myself as a sunflower, mostly because on my darkest days, I stood tall as I always knew how to find the light. For this I will forever be grateful because I’m now here still standing and laughing. I now know for sure that there is no shame in making mistakes while trying to figure things out, I’m working towards living a fulfilling life not a perfect one in my new journey. I just have to focus and work on being a little better than yesterday.

I’m now matured enough to know that for me to embrace my new journey, I had to be broken so I can take off my dependency and expectancy off people and put it on God. I had to learn that each time I thought I can’t handle the challenges and problems life threw at me and still throws at me, that is when I find strength within that proves that I’m capable of overcoming more than I could imagine. I had to learn that in order for me to fly, I have to give up a lot that weighed me down and lose some people along the way. I had to learn that my pain is my power, I have to keep holding on and finish the race. I had to learn that some mistakes takes us to the right place, I had to learn that like a butterfly I have to give myself time to bloom. I had to learn that I do not have to be ordinary when I was born to be great, I had to learn that two wrongs don’t make a right, I had to learn that it takes two to tango. I have had to learn to love more and judge less because no one is pure and perfect. I had to learn that people don’t disappoint us, we get disappointed by our expectations of people. I had to learn that what does not break me only makes me stronger. I had to learn that just because it’s taking time, it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. I had to learn that sometimes the magic happens when I stop worrying about tomorrow and live for the moment. I had to learn that when I do everything with pure intentions and love, and still people leave I don’t lose anyone, they lose me. I had to learn and this I learned the hard way that I have to choose my battles wisely and not fight for something that in turn is destroying me, if it is broken it’s not meant for me to fix it, how people treat you reflects on how they feel about themselves and WHAT YOU TOLERATE, YOU ENCOURAGE. I have learned that you must never let a person get comfortable mistreating and disrespecting you because it becomes normal. I have learned that it is my right to not respect anybody who entertained anything that was done to hurt me. I have learned that the strongest hearts have the most scars, I have learned that it is better to be single than to be in a relationship settling for less than what I deserve. I have learned in order for me to say I’ve grown I have to apologize when I’m wrong, communicate my feelings, be truthful and be accountable for my actions without blaming other people. I have learned that it is okay to leave a mark in someone’s life as long as that mark is not a scar. I have learned that you can’t force a person to care about you, you can’t force a person to be loyal to you and you can’t force a person to be who you want them to be especially if they’re not ready because you’re only going to try fix what is meant to stay broken and it will break you as well. I have learned that divorce is okay, breaking up is okay, starting over is okay, moving on is okay, saying no is okay, being alone is okay BUT what is not okay is staying in a relationship where you feel unhappy, unvalued, unseen and unappreciated because it only robs you of the love and peace you truly deserve, staying in that space only drains your spirit and dims your light. I have learned that it is okay to reconnect, rewind and rejuvenate.

My new beginnings journey starts with me, I have to really like me actually love me first, embrace all my flaws and all my imperfections. I’m not perfect but for me to love myself, it makes it easy for other people to love me and reciprocate the love.  The most sacred relationship is the one I nurture with myself; I should give myself grace because it’ll allow me to become the vessel of God’s pure love and mercy. My self-acceptance is the beginning of my healing. I have to accept my past and know that I can’t change what happened in the past that is my history, but I can influence and change my future. I’m now in the driving seat, I am the author of my new journey, I get to do what makes me happy and gives me peace. My new beginning is all about me finding the freedom and joy that reminds me that it’s okay to let go of my burdens and to let go of the negativity, reminding me to embrace peace, happiness, positive changes and being hopeful during dark times, it’s not easy but I press on. A huge part of loving myself is to always affirm myself, start each day by declaring something good over my life and self because words have power and the more beautiful my words are to myself, the more positive I become.

This journey has forced me to go outside my comfort zone, I discovered a lot about myself and I’m grateful for the pain. I downplayed the strength and courage in me however this has taught me that when I embrace change and start over, my struggle is my strength and my mistakes are my miracles. The fact that I’m still standing and I’m still smiling, is a testament of God’s goodness and mercy. New beginning is never easy as we’re all afraid of the unknown but let me tell you this has been the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Through God’s grace I’ve reintroduced myself to me, I’m learning to give myself grace, I’m teaching myself to accept disappointments even from people I love, I’m learning to do things by myself and not depending on other people, I’m learning to never expect to get what I give because not everyone has a heart like mine, I’m learning that not everyone you love will love you the same. I’m learning to stop keeping my clothes for special occasions and wear them whenever I can because these days being alive is a special occasion, I’m learning to let go and let loose sometimes, I’m learning to wake up every day and celebrate the strength, determination and resilience that is in me, I’m learning that I am the queen I think I am, I’m learning that NO is a full sentence and I owe no one any explanation, I’m learning that I’m beautiful just the way I am, I’m enough, I’m learning to wake up and choose me, choose to be happy always, take more pictures, create memories, cherish every moment because life has no rewind, I’m learning that at any given moment I know how much money I have in my bank account but I do not know how much time I have left to live. I’m learning that God created me for a purpose and He put me here to flourish, I’m learning that there’s no test without a testimony, I’m learning that God will gracefully break you because He is preparing you for something greater, never give up on God and your faith, I’m learning that everything happens for a reason and whatever happens in our lives whether painful or good, it is necessary because it is for greater purpose, I’m learning that I should only believe and trust the process and continue to be a woman of integrity. I’m learning to be grateful in each moment irrespective of how I feel, I should always be thankful in each moment, I’m learning to keep praying to God everyday no matter how “hopeless” my situation may seem because sometimes it is in the waves of change where we find true direction. I’m learning that at some point I have to open up my heart and give love a second chance. I’m learning to be happy and grateful not because all is good and rosy but because I have to see the good in everything. I’m learning that the joy and peace I yearn for is in the small little pleasures and miracles of life. I’m learning that I have to live my life and not wait until I feel better because I might be waiting forever, I have to live whether I do it sad, anxious or uncertain, healing doesn’t always come before the experience, sometimes the experience is what is going to heal me. I’m learning that life has many shades and my life will always reflect the choices I make. I’m learning that it’s okay to choose discomfort over resentment, I’m learning to do things without resentment which means I’m now learning to set boundaries, it’s about courage, being imperfect, being vulnerable because I’m enough starts with me setting boundaries that clearly says ENOUGH! I’m learning that every day gets lighter and better when you let go of yourself, I’m learning that it’s never too late because me and God don’t use the same watch….

Everyday I get to understand that it’s true what they say about a journey of “a thousand miles beginning with a single step – Lao Tzu”. It feels intimidating to start something new especially because we do not know how it will work out, we don’t know what challenges we’re going to face along the way but in a new season, place or situation, I find myself in at any time I cannot anticipate what I will need, I just have to trust that I will get the benefit from God’s promise that His presence is enough. Nothing in this world can stop me from letting go and starting over. I always believed holding on makes me strong, but I now know better and know that letting go is what makes you stronger. I’m starting here, now with what I have because I know my life will only get better by change and starting over. No matter what happens or where I go in this new journey, God is with me and He makes a way for me to rest. I trust that God will lead me into a future where rest is possible, He is with me and He is for me. I do not consider myself a failure but a conquer, a warrior, a force to be reckoned with because baby Maya Angelou said it for me and many other women who are going through what I went through and starting over“STILL I RISE” and Like Dust I Will Rise! This is just the beginning; I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me and where God is taking me.

Cheers to new beginnings and embracing change because I know success is imminent!

My journey continues and I strive to move towards a happier and more fulfilling life🥂💃🏽🥰I’m Just A Small Girl with A Big God, Mercy Rewrote My Life, Grace Has Located Me I Am An Overcomer🙏🏾💕, A Very Beautiful Story❤️ Live in the moment, Laugh harder, Love deeply & Celebrate more💕🎉🥂💃🏽🥰

 

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose – Romans 8:28🙏🏾🙏🏾

Love & Light

Dipsy💚