STILL, I STAYED

I used to think love could heal anything—that if I showed enough loyalty, patience, and forgiveness, my ex-husband would eventually choose me, see me, respect me, and love me the way I deserved. This isn’t just my story; it’s the hope many others in abusive relationships hold onto quietly every day.

I met my ex-husband fresh out of school—a shy, innocent girl full of dreams and hope. He seemed responsible and full of potential, while I was still finding my way in the world. Naïve, unguarded, and trusting, I loved him wholeheartedly with everything he was—flaws and all, completely blinded by love’s light and glow.

I was there when he had nothing to offer, through the toughest lows. I became just one heart among many, all waiting for the same man, when he was the dream every girl chased—but still, I stayed. I stayed when laughter echoed around me, when he shamed and humiliated me in public while he apologized behind closed doors.  I stayed because I truly believed I was the one meant for him. 

We had a fairy-tale wedding, the kind that made everyone believe we were the ultimate couple goals, painting a picture of the perfect couple that everyone admired. He called me his queen, promising love that would last forever, and for a moment, I believed in that beautiful illusion—that love had truly won. But pain has a way of lingering, and what we often overlook is that a man with unhealed wounds will revert to the very actions that protect him. The cheating continued, the lies persisted, the betrayals repeated, and the disrespect never ceased.

I didn’t hate him; what I hated was the woman I was becoming because of him. I was turning into someone angry and full of self-doubt, constantly comparing myself and struggling to be loved, seen, and respected—the love I never truly received. I didn’t scream because I was crazy, but because I felt like I was drowning. I forgave him over and over, when we renewed our vows, I silently prayed that my love would finally be enough. But love alone can’t heal, and loyalty can’t mend a wounded heart.

Then, out of the blue, he decided he was done pretending and asked for a divorce. It shocked me and hit me hard because I had always believed I’d be the one to leave. The pain and betrayal I felt were not for the marriage ending—they were for the part of me and the grief of losing myself in a fight to save something that was never meant to be, something that was never truly there. I felt foolish for holding onto hope and fighting a battle I was destined to lose.  

As I reflect, I see and realize now that I had lost myself in that relationship, unsure and not knowing how to find and reclaim my strength again. Though my heart believed I would be the one to walk away, the truth is I wasn’t ready to let go and walk away yet—but in the end, he did me a favour by setting me free, and for that, I’m grateful. I wasn’t naïve; I was loyal. I stayed too long in a place that was quietly draining and breaking me because when a woman loves a man more than her own sanity and peace, she bleeds in silence—but when she breaks, it’s impossible to ignore. That lesson is clear now: I know my worth, and I will never let the past chain me to a futureless love. I can support a man, but I cannot heal him—only he holds the power to piece himself back together. I will no longer beg for love, for recognition, for validation, for respect, or to be chosen. I refuse to fight for man who was never mine to begin with, someone who was never part of God’s plan for me—because if I have to fight for you, you were never mine by divine design. A man who is easily taken is not a covenant keeper, not a covenant partner; he is not God’s best for me, but someone for the crowd.

I am a daughter of the King, and my worth is far above rubies. I choose to wait on God’s timing, His promises, and His purpose for my life, I choose peace over chaos, purpose over pain. What He has for me will never require me to compromise my peace or my dignity.

Allow me to reintroduce the renewed version of myself. I’m Dipuo—a 49-year-old single mom of three, embracing my independence and inner peace. My story isn’t just mine; it’s a beacon of light meant to shine and connect me with women on similar journeys—lifting spirits, touching hearts and sparking hope. What started as a journey guided by faith has become a powerful voice rising above the noise, ready to be heard and ready to inspire. The past? That chapter is closed—the 23-year chapter of marriage wrapped up between a divorce decree and the start of something new, a brand-new chapter. Ahead lies a road bursting with endless possibilities. I’ve learned that divorce can set you free, but the real magic and true transformation happens when you move beyond the bitterness to fully embrace the sweetness of freedom.

 I am a grown woman, yet still a growing woman. When I look back, I see God’s hand in my growth—and in some areas, He is still shaping me. I honour the woman I was (thank You, Lord, for carrying me through), I respect the woman I am (I’m grateful for how far You’ve brought me), and I trust the woman God is moulding me into (I look forward to the peace and purpose You’ve prepared for me).

Note to Self: You are not broken—you are becoming. Grace stepped in right where pain left you shattered, and God is turning every broken piece into beauty.

 My journey continues and I strive to move towards a happier and more fulfilling life🥂💃🏽🥰 I’m Just A Small Girl With A Big God🙏🏽💕 Mercy Rewrote My Life🙏🏽💕Mercy Said No🙏🏽💕 Grace Has Located Me🙏🏽💕 I Am An Overcomer🙏🏾💕A Very Beautiful Story❤️ Live in the moment, Laugh harder, Love💖 deeply & Celebrate more💕🎉🥂💃🏽🥰

 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing - James 1:2-4🙏🏾🙏🏾

Love & Light 

Dipsy💚