LOVE IS PATIENT WHEN IT IS TAUGHT BY GOD

True, patient love—agape—is the very nature of God Himself. It is the fruit of the Holy Spirit, something far deeper and purer than what human effort alone can produce. When we enter marriage or a love relationship, we often carry the hope that we will finally experience that kind of divine, unconditional love.

But the truth is, many of us come into relationships wounded. Somewhere along the journey of life, we encountered rejection, felt unappreciated, or were made to believe we were not worthy of love. These experiences leave scars—sometimes hidden so deeply that we forget they’re even there.

To protect ourselves, we build walls.
We become cautious.
We hold back.
And for those who have endured deep hurt—especially wounds rooted in childhood pain—those walls become even thicker.

Such individuals often struggle to recognize genuine love when it appears. Because agape is unfamiliar to them, they can unintentionally sabotage the very blessing they have been praying for. They may hurt, disappoint, or even betray the one person who truly loves them—not out of malice, but because they have never known or received love in its purest, God-given form. 

In their brokenness, they push away what was meant to heal them.
In their fear, they destroy what was meant to flourish.
Not because they don’t want love, but because they don’t yet know how to trust it.

Many of us were taught love through a distorted lens—shaped by wounded families, painful environments, and a society that often confuses love with control, chaos, or survival. Because of that, we sometimes drift into relationships that mirror the very pain we came from. We accept toxic love and are trapped in toxic or abusive relationships because it feels familiar, and we cling to partners who only know and understand a version of love that wounds, destroys, and tears down.

I truly believe that this is what unfolded in my marriage. The love I offered was more than my ex-husband knew how to receive, limited by his own fears and unhealed childhood wounds. In that unhealed place, he ended up working hard—consciously or unconsciously—to destroy the very blessing he had. But with time, I’ve come to understand that this was not a reflection of my worth or my love—it was simply a reflection of his journey. And recognizing this has helped me heal, release the pain, and move forward with grace, knowing that healthier love and healthier connections are possible.

But here is the truth:
I was never created for that kind of love, the love that wounds, destroys and tears down.
I was created for the kind of love that heals, the kind that builds, the kind that reflects the heart of God.

We live in a hurting world, a world full of brokenness and yes, broken people often raise broken children without even realizing it. But we don’t have to stay in that cycle. We don’t have to repeat what we were taught. We don’t have to pass our wounds down to the next generation.

Without realizing it, some of us get married not out of purpose, but out of escape—hoping that union will fix what life has broken. We expect our partners to heal the trauma we carried from the past—trauma that isn’t their burden to carry. We expect another person to heal wounds that were created long before they arrived in our lives. Those wounds are ours to face, ours to surrender, and ours to overcome. This expectation is not only unrealistic, but also unfair. This is why tending to our mental, emotional, and spiritual health is not selfish—it is wise, courageous, and essential for the future we want to build. Healing is our responsibility, not a task we place on someone else.

Through my journey I learned that healing is not only my responsibility it is possible—it is powerful.
It is necessary, but it is also my superpower.
And it begins with me because it is how I rewrite history and set the future free.

For the sake of my children and the generations to come, I must do the inner work. I must focus on my healing, tending to my mental and emotional well-being before I step into relationships. I cannot raise healthy, confident, emotionally stable children while I am still bleeding on the inside. My children and all other children out there deserve healed parents who are whole. They deserve homes filled with love and peace not pain, they deserve emotional stability not echoes of unresolved trauma.

And we can give them that.
By choosing healing, we break generational cycles.
By choosing growth, we change the story for those coming after us.
By choosing wholeness, we choose freedom.

We don’t have to repeat the cycles of the past. We can learn from the mistakes of previous generations and rewrite our story. Redemption is possible.

We must come to understand that true love—God’s love—is patient, gentle and steadfast because it reflects His very nature. God is slow to anger, rich in mercy, and overflowing with grace. When we allow Him to teach us, we learn a love that is not rooted in fear or pain but we learn a love that lifts, restores, transforms in compassion, humility, and grace.

And the most empowering part?
We can learn this love. We can live this love. We can pass down this love.

We become carriers of healing instead of carriers of pain.
We become breakers of cycles instead of repeaters of them.
We become the generation that says, “It ends with me, and hope begins with us.

To love like this, we must set aside our selfish impulses and rely on God’s help. Only through Him can we learn to love others the way He has loved us—patiently, faithfully, and unconditionally. We can grow beyond our past, we can raise children who know stability, safety, and joy.

But here is the hope: God specializes in healing what is wounded and restoring what is broken. No heart is too scarred for His touch. With surrender, grace, and the gentle work of the Holy Spirit, even the most guarded heart can learn to receive love, give love, and trust love again. God can turn pain into purpose, walls into doors, and wounds into testimonies.

Where love has been feared, it can be reborn.
Where trust has been shattered, it can be rebuilt.
Where hearts have been closed, God can open them again.

Because with Him, healing is possible.
Transformation is possible.
And true agape love is always within reach.

I pray that the generations coming after us will raise children who are healed and whole—sons who reflect the Father-heart of God, and daughters so complete within themselves that they shine with effortless beauty, grace, and confidence. May they grow up in homes that are nurturing and whole, environments where love is healthy, pure, and life‑giving. May our children truly become the blessing they were created to be, shaped by parents who chose healing over repeating the past.

As for my own journey, I may not know what the future holds for me in terms of love or relationship—but I walk forward with peace. I rest in the assurance that Abba Father holds my life in His hands. And I cling to His promise in Isaiah 41:10: that He will strengthen me, He will uphold me, and He will help me.

My future may be unknown, but my God is unchanging—and that is enough.

My journey continues and I strive to move towards a happier and more fulfilling life🥂💃🏽🥰 I’m Just A Small Girl With A Big God🙏🏽💕 Mercy Rewrote My Life🙏🏽💕Mercy Said No🙏🏽💕 Grace Has Located Me🙏🏽💕 I Am An Overcomer🙏🏾💕A Very Beautiful Story❤️ Live in the moment, Laugh harder, Love💖 deeply & Celebrate more💕🎉🥂💃🏽🥰

 

Love is patient, love is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8🙏🏾🙏🏾

Love & Light 

Dipsy💚