BREATHE AGAIN

There are moments in my life when I feel myself reaching for air, moments when the weight of everything around me presses so heavily on my chest that all I want is a single, steady breath. A moment to pause. To reflect. To release the emotions, I’ve tucked away because life kept moving, even when I wasn’t ready.

Sometimes the world becomes overwhelming, and the burdens I carry feel too heavy for one heart to hold. In those moments, I crave a deep breath that settles my spirit, not just to calm the chaos around me, but to remind myself that I am still here, still standing, still trying to make sense of this journey.

Life has a way of lifting us and breaking us all at once. It feels like every step I take toward healing, toward breakthrough, is met with a force determined to push me backwards, sometimes so far back that I wonder how I’ll ever find my way again. There are days when it feels like the enemy is working overtime, fighting to steal my peace, drain my joy, and undo the healing I’ve fought so hard for. The battles come one after another, wave after wave, until it feels like I’m losing ground I once gained.

And I won’t pretend, there are times when I question whether I’m strong enough. Times when I feel hope slipping through my fingers. Times when the weight of the fight makes me wonder if the enemy is winning.

I’ve been facing challenges in both my parenting journey and my previous marriage, and earlier in the year it all became so overwhelming that I felt like I needed a break from everything. I found myself in one of the weakest phases of my life. I didn’t question God, I didn’t blame anyone not even myself. I was simply numb, searching deep within for that small, steady voice that usually whispers, “It’s okay. God’s got this.”

But this time, all I felt was silence.
Silence… and overwhelming numbness.

There were moments when I wanted to disappear, to step away from it all and never come back. None of it made sense. The emotions were too heavy, the exhaustion too deep. I cried until I had no tears left, until my eyes were swollen and burning, until my heart felt bruised from the inside out.

I kept praying, “Dear God…”
But I didn’t even know what to say or ask Him for.
I just cried and hoped He could hear the tears I couldn’t translate into words.

But then, in that moment when I felt completely lost, there was a soft whisper and something inside me moved, something only God could stir through His soft voice in a form of a whisper just enough for hope to slip through.

I remembered who I am.
More importantly, I remembered Whose I am.

Even in the darkest seasons, even when storms rage louder than my prayers, I hold on to my faith—sometimes desperately, sometimes quietly, sometimes with shaking hands. But I hold on. Because I know the One who carries me has never failed me, not once. Even when life feels like attack after attack, I draw my strength from the Lord. He is my grounding force, my Anchor, my Shelter when everything else feels unsteady.

So yes, there are days when breathing feels hard. Days when taking even one step forward feels like a victory. But I’ve learned that healing isn’t a straight line. Strength isn’t always loud. And faith doesn’t remove the storm—it simply carries me through it.

And through it all, I choose to breathe again.
To rise again.
To trust again.

Because the God who strengthens me has never let the storm win – Isaiah 43: 1- 3: But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in your place 🙏🏾🙏🏾

There are times when I find myself yearning—truly yearning—for peace. Not just any peace, but the kind that only God Himself can give. There are times when I long for a break from the constant battles of life, a moment to step away from the weight of being misunderstood. I’m tired of being seen as bitter, angry, or attention-seeking simply because I choose to speak my truth. There are times when I long for joy, real pure joy. There are times when I long to laugh freely again, to pause, to reset, and to simply breathe without the heaviness pressing against my chest.

When the world becomes too much, I want to intentionally slow down, to take a deep, grounding breath and allow myself the grace to pause. I want to release what hurts, acknowledge that this suffering is temporary, and give myself permission to let go of the pressure I’ve been carrying for far too long. There are those times when I want to be seen as human, soft and fragile not as strong all the time, not as unbreakable, but as someone who also needs rest, softness, and understanding.

I want to shift my focus from everything I’ve lost to what is still here the present moment, this breath, this chance to begin again. I want to prioritize my well‑being, my happiness, and my mental health. I want to engage in self-care without guilt, to be a little selfish if that’s what my healing requires. Whether it’s taking a walk outside, savouring small joys, or practicing deep breathing, I want to choose myself in ways I never have before because I owe it to myself for everything I’ve endured.

I want to reframe my struggles and see them not only as obstacles but as opportunities, chances for growth, resilience, and rebirth. I want to wake up with hope, especially on the days when giving up feels easier. I want to create my own purpose, to embrace continuous growth, and to keep moving forward even when fear whispers that I can’t.

This journey has taught me that true fulfilment comes from challenging myself to rise from finding meaning beyond my pain, and from recognizing that my mistakes are not failures, they are lessons. They are stepping stones. They are reminders that every setback is simply preparing me for something greater.

And through it all, I am learning to BREATHE AGAIN. 

There are those moments when I just want to rise above the riptide of my current reality so I can finally breathe again. Times when I’m longing for moments where joy, peace, comfort, and connection feel accessible, even if nothing around me has changed. Therapy is teaching me something I never allowed myself to fully accept that asking for a moment to breathe is not weakness. It is survival. It is restoration. It is humanity. It is self-care. It is self-love.

And I am human deeply human. I have moments where I feel like giving up, when hope feels distant and the weight of my emotions presses hard against my chest. But through prayer and worship, I somehow manage to keep going. I work so hard not to break, to hold everything together, to stay strong for everyone who depends on me. But the truth is, I honestly need that pause. I need that sacred moment to stop… and BREATHE AGAIN. Because life becomes overwhelming, painfully overwhelming, especially as a single parent navigating the constant battles created by the one person determined to make things harder than they need to be.

I try not to let the negativity or the labels define me. Most days, I rise above it. Most days, I remind myself who I am and refuse to internalize the hurt. But some days, it gets to me. And when it does, when it finally seeps through the cracks, I feel everything all at once. I break down, not a little, but completely. The kind of breakdown where you’re tired in your bones. Tired of being strong. Tired of being misunderstood. Tired of carrying the world on your shoulders while pretending it doesn’t weigh you down.

Some days, all I want to do is laugh, but all my body feels like doing is crying. Some days, I want to scream into a pillow, vanish under the covers, dive into a tub of ice cream, or just disappear from everything for a moment… not because I’m weak, but because I’m exhausted. Truly exhausted.

All I’m asking for is space to breathe. To be human. To feel. To reset. To rise again slowly, gently, and in my own time!

I remind myself that this is just a phase a difficult season, not a final destination. And I know I will breathe again. God’s power restores life, peace, and hope to weary souls, and I trust that He is already working behind the scenes, aligning things, healing what was broken, and preparing to restore everything I’ve lost.

Breath itself is a gift from God each inhale a reminder of grace, each exhale a release of burdens I was never meant to carry alone. As long as I have breath, I will remain grateful: grateful for life, grateful for spiritual renewal, and grateful for the emotional relief He brings even amid distress. My story isn’t finished, and my healing isn’t denied it’s unfolding, breath by breath.

My journey continues and I strive to move towards a happier and more fulfilling life🥂💃🏽🥰 I’m Just A Small Girl With A Big God🙏🏽💕 Mercy Rewrote My Life🙏🏽💕Mercy Said No🙏🏽💕 Grace Has Located Me🙏🏽💕 I Am An Overcomer🙏🏾💕A Very Beautiful Story❤️ Live in the moment, Laugh harder, Love💖 deeply & Celebrate more💕🎉🥂💃🏽🥰

 

I called on Your name, O LORD, From the lowest pit. You have heard my voice: “Do not hide Your ear From my sighing, from my cry for help - Lamentations 3:55-56🙏🏾🙏🏾

Love & Light 

Dipsy💚